Embracing Life Outside the Box

Where are you holding yourself back?

Society’s focus on racism right now can’t help but also highlight all of the discrimination prevalent in our society:

Sexism

Ageism

Ableism (discrimination against people with disabilities)

Sexual orientation discrimination

Xenophobia (fear against people from foreign places)

Transphobia

Homophobia

They all perpetuate false ideals. Many assume that there is a neutral – i.e. heterosexual white English-speakers. Many ascribe superior and inferior values depending on where one might be on the spectrum.

Minimizing the breadth of possibilities to simple have and have nots does a disservice to everyone. It forces us all to live and see within boxes. We don’t get to stretch, explore, and embrace the possibilities inherent in life. Nature doesn’t live within tidy boxes. Her seeds and scents spread in the wind, while clouds drift overhead. Nuts, fruits, and leaves fall to the ground, ready for their next incarnation. Squirrels may gather the nuts, insects may feast on the fruit, and leaves build soil for the future, all in a divine intertwined dance. Her waters run from springs, through forests, down riverbeds, and meld into the sea only to return as rain and seep into the earth once again. Life cycles through beings and places with an organic elegance, and few hard lines.

Likewise life cycles through us with every breath, water keeps us hydrated, and food builds our tissues. To be frank, we all also use the loo...so we give back as well! There is no separateness from nature. We are nature. Similarly, there is no separateness from others. As humans we all cycle through the same emotions, and want to love and be loved. We breathe, eat, and sleep. No matter where you are, the basics of human experience are more alike than different.

As we all continue to unwrap the layers of oppression within and around us, we can look to the abundance of this amazing earth that continues to provide – air, water, sun, food and more, filling us with life through every sense. We often let the voices, gifts, and struggles of others pour through us just as easily.

By centering perspectives we’re not used to seeing we can get to know life beyond the boxes. There is no center-point on earth's surface, nor is there a neutral perspective. Leaning into different viewpoints, we step into the breadth and depth of the human experience. This may be as simple as following more BIPOC/LGBQTIA+ people on social media, reading one of their books, or getting to know them personally. By making it more and more common in our daily experience, we can relate to the humanness in others and forget about those arbitrary lines drawn in the sand. We can love more deeply and widely– both others and ourselves. We can get to know people beyond their name, and beyond a hashtag. While it’s important to #saytheirnames, it’s probably more important to get to know people who are alive and sharing their voice, gifts, and struggles with the world.

We may be shy about speaking about certain topics. Listening to others, in all their candid glory, can help us to open up and love vulnerable parts within ourselves, while admiring the speaker's boldness.

Anti-racism is not only about helping the marginalized groups. When we work to dismantle the structures of oppression we grant ourselves freedom too.

So I return to my original question. Where are you holding yourself back? Where are you putting yourself in a box? And what resources – perspectives, people, habits, info, etc., can help you break out?

This isn’t a sprint, it’s a marathon. Be gentle with yourself. Remember to eat, sleep, move, and reflect. Give yourself a solid foundation so you can be the change you wish to see in the world. And when times for action come up, you'll be ready to stand in your own glory.

photo credit: Alex Radelich via Unsplash.com - Los Angeles protest

Navigating the funks ;)

Yesterday morning I was in a funk. I didn’t feel like doing anything productive or creative. I also didn’t want to spend the whole day like that.

Luckily it was warm and sunny out, so I went for a walk and called an old friend. It shifted my perspective and state of being. It then led to me playing music with her- over the phone. And just like that a heartwarming, deeply connective moment came out of a funk.

For me this pandemic, and social isolating, is causing me to let go like never before. So I can’t go out freely in my community to meet up with friends and family. I can still call them and connect with them in new ways.

When I’m not moving my body enough I notice that emotional stuff gets stuck, and I bounce back and forth like a pinball. You ever feel like that? I’m unable to focus, and unable to experience joy in anything I do. When I don’t choose supportive practices right away, it keeps me in this limbo-place longer. That’s not helpful for anyone.

With so much mental and emotional information to process right now, it’s important that I step up my self-care practices. It can be simple. Taking one small, baby step out of the funk can cause a positive domino effect, like it did for me today.

What small steps help you when you’re feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or irritable?

Balanced Digestion takes more than Discipline

Yes, you may need more discipline AND….a bit of compassion.  I spoke to a woman last night after I gave a talk on digestion.  She recounted her years of struggling with digestive issues.  After all that effort and attention, the issue was continuing to worsen.  She mentioned that what she needed was “more discipline.”  I get it, I’ve been there.  I’ve gone to extreme elimination diets and still felt horrible.  Discipline and diet are only part of the issue.

How we do one thing gives us a pretty good idea of how we do everything else in our lives.

Am I making this healthy eating thing complicated and difficult?  Am I forcing myself into a mold that just doesn’t fit?  Am I looking for that outside source – i.e. broccoli, a superfood, organic free-range chicken—to fulfill me?

Start from where you are, and love that.

Easier said than done sometimes, but it’s crucial for us moving through discomfort and disease.  Acknowledge where you are.  Acknowledge that you didn’t have time to make your lunch.  Be grateful that you recognized that, and purchased a wonderful store-bought meal to nourish yourself.  Be present with what is and start with gratitude.  As you become more and more present, you will be more in touch with your needs.  You’ll recognize that you didn’t have time today, and you’ll see the need to make time tomorrow.

Basically we’re balancing the masculine and feminine energies.  The masculine is about form and function.  It may be the specific foods and actions that support our health.  And…we must hold the feminine energy as well.  Whether or not the meal in front of us is the ideal, we can stop, smell the steamed veggies, and enjoy every bite.  In the end, it’s not about a destination.  It’s not about being perfect – because we never will be, and that’s boring anyway.  It’s about experiencing each moment of the journey, and learning and growing along the way.

Be gentle.  Keep it simple.  Taste every bite.